Journal 1: Fall

Fall. I never thought about why we called the season fall. Maybe it was because the leaves fall to the ground, fashioning mounds of vivid compost. Maybe it was the fall of summer, before the chill winter stole the warmth of the earth. But maybe, it was the season when hearts fell. A love like fall, bright and colorful, captivating at the start, but soon turning to a dull, blank emptiness- which is exactly how I felt.

We met at Karen’s, the diner on the corner of Main and Frost Street. I was a waitress there, and had been ever since I can remember. I started when I was sixteen, about four years back. Everyone was in town for the summer, and the beach was filled to its maximum occupancy. I scrammed around looking for my notepad so I could write down orders. I saw it ahead of me on the floor, and a boy from across the room picked it up, and handed it to me. Our eyes met, and from then on I was drawn in. never had I seen eyes so blue, and a smile so bright.

We were inseparable. When I wasn’t working, we were on the beach, having long walks or picnics, talking about anything and everything. It was the first time in awhile I had actually felt happy. I knew when the summer would end, he would move back to the city and go to college, and I’d be left here, waiting on the same local customers at the diner. It was inevitable that he would leave, and maybe that’s what scared me the most.

When the days got shorter, and the nights grew longer, we would sit on the beach, watching the darkness rise along the coast. Our long talks ended, and we sat in silence-the only sounds that filled my ears were the waves crashing against the shore. Sitting there at the inlet, I thought to myself about asking him to stay for the fall with me for about five minutes. I finally got the courage to ask, but his answer had been no. I felt uneasy, and disappointed. He would leave tomorrow, and the last chance I had to convince him into staying was at the play that was held at the theater the next day.

We sat there next to each other, and I couldn’t even look at him. I guess I began to realize it was over, and the fall was unavoidable. We sat through the whole two hour play next to each other, emotionless. When the play finally ended, I just sat there, watching everyone shuffle out of their rows to the nearest exit. He stayed, sitting alongside of me. It was just me and him, two people in a theater that fit four hundred and fifty people. We were still. I just stared forward at the red drapes closing on the stage, wondering what I should say to him, but I couldn’t think of anything, my mind was blank. He would leave to go back to the city in nine short hours, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it accept just sit here. I felt like my heart had sunk into my stomach, and everything I knew just fell through when I needed it the most. Maybe that’s why they call it fall.